With Great Power

We like our superheroes
Tortured
And our favorite ones all have
PTSD
From Batman’s murdered parents
To Spidey’s Uncle Ben
To Superman with all his power
Mourning his exploded world
(Not many famous heroes share that pain
Just Supes and Princess Leia)
I guess it’s more believable
When in the real world, too, so often
Heroism stems from trauma
And the ones who rescue others
Learned to do so through
A path of grief

the truth about cats

i dunno man
the other day i
i thought i knew something
about cats
and how them nasty little critters
decide what they’re gonna do next
you know?

like here’s this little fuzzball dog
i’ve lived here in this house with
for six years
so am I gonna
rub up against it
rub my pheromones
or whatever
on it
like i love it
and want to mark it as mine

or instead maybe i’ll
whack it on the nose
with my claws out
and hiss at the poor little crapper
as it runs away whining

the other day i thought
i had it figured out because
i’d been watching this one cat
pretty much non-stop
for like three and a half weeks
straight

but then i was petting it
and i know it was happy
i know it was, man
cause it was purring really loud
i mean really really loud
i’m absolutely sure this was
a happy cat
man

i’ve spent a lot of time with cats

but then it bit me
and now i’ve got
teeth holes
in my wrist
seriously
stupid damn cat

you can’t trust cats, man
you can’t trust cats

gravity

o singleton holder
tell me
hast thou advertising info now?
and if you do, then tell me true,
have we enabled gravity?
we have?
great

ok let’s get the active creative
got it
but, um
is it null?
(so sad if it were naught at all)
ok not null
does it contain a cache id?
it does?
great

has our dear caller guaranteed
creative’s armed explicitly?
OR
was it triggered by the ad transaction
yet
AND THIS IS KEY
avoided self-destruct??

yeah?
great

ok we’ve got just one more check
is our creative cache id
found in the list of zip files
that are ready, waiting
there on disk?

it is?
super duper!

so lets disarm the self-destruct because
we like this one and do not want it blowing up
and then return this cache id
because we know
for sure
that this one is the one, baby
this
is
the
one

perspective

at the rear of the hospital waiting room
stands a trio of vending machines
and each one’s equipped
with a credit card reader
that’s pretty convenient i guess

so the one on the left offered pepsi
(i mean diet of course)
so I swiped

and the vending machine called its captain
who decided my credit was good
and it gave me a bottle of zero-cal pop
which was roughly as warm
as some freshly-made pee

as i looked at my bottle
of summery soda
i thought of my poor wife’s
abdominal pain

(which was sudden
and awful
and why we were there)

and i said
this is nothing
this urine-like beverage
it’s not a thing
i should be bothered about

and besides
i could see
that machine number three

had coke zero