when i was little
mommy and dad
taught me to judge
they told me i mustn’t
(of course i mustn’t)
“that privilege is god’s”
just the same they
taught me to judge
people like me
i didn’t know then
when i was little
that i was a freak
but i knew about freaks
mommy and dad
made sure i knew
i knew how god and
mommy and dad
judged them
i didn’t know then
that freaks were
people like me
i didn’t know who i am
so i loved them
loved them completely
but now that i know
i can’t help but judge
mommy and dad
and also i can’t
i think forever i can’t
tell them about me
because as much
as i judge them today
i still love them
not as completely as
when i was little
(i think nobody does)
and i don’t ever want to
tell them about me
…i still love them
and now i can judge
and now i can love
and i can forgive
and i’m scared
that if ever i told
mommy and dad
their judgment
would be stronger
stronger than love
and deeper
and sharper
than forgiveness