Jackie the Red-Eared Slider

Jackie the red-eared slider
Had a very flattened shell
We think her former owners
Didn’t know to feed her well

All of her tank companions
Little snails and little fish
Hoped that she wouldn’t eat them
Deciding they’re a tasty dish

Then one day this turtle girl
Scored her great escape
Out and down and on the floor
Nearly made it out the door

Now Jackie’s bubbling filter
Is moved to where she cannot climb
Jackie the red-eared slider
Swimming with us all…the…time!

Words of Wisdom from the Catguru

All you need for bliss is a sunbeam and some downtime.

There is no such thing as early breakfast.

Never give up the chase. You won’t know what joy that shiny thing has for you until you catch it.

We are capable of amazing feats…and lamentable clumsiness.

Never disturb someone’s sleep without good reason.

Entropy is an inescapable law of the universe. Embrace it.

All creatures crave affection. But don’t presume.

If you’ve got happy vibes, let everybody hear them.

Aphorisms from the Dog Sage

Love everybody…and protect your pack.

If you really want to understand something, you’ve got to stick your nose right in the middle of it.

Every morning holds the promise of connection, exercise, and breakfast. Greet each one with joy.

Never turn up your nose at nourishment, no matter where it came from.

Sleep is your friend. And a fresh patch of dirt makes an excellent bed.

Always know who’s who in your neighborhood. Stay in touch. Don’t forget to remind them that you live here too.

Every reunion is an occasion for excitement and delight, even if the parting was brief.

escape hatch

i saw her, yards away, across the bridge
bent over, marking on the path with chalk
i squinted and crept forward just a smidge
to see what she was drawing on the walk

she drew the chalky outline of a door
and when she finished, much to my surprise
she opened it and jumped inside before
i knew it – i could not believe my eyes!

i ran to where she’d been, fell to my knees
and touched the outlines drawn upon the track
the door was only chalk, a mundane tease
i wonder if she’s ever coming back?

Mummy Caper

Jane was dangling
like Tom Cruise
above Queen N.’s sarcophagus.
Theo tapped her keys
and killed alarms
so sentries wouldn’t fuss.

Then, with practiced skill
Jane pried the lid
and opened it with care.
She alerted Theo
and the two
got Queen N. out of there.

They retreated
through the ductwork
to the back of the museum,
then donned uniforms in case
some sharp-eyed watch-person
should see ‘em.

Soon they’d made it
to their getaway
and tossed Queen N. inside,
so Jane grabbed the wheel
of that red Jag
and took her for a ride.

When they reached
their destination
N. began to loosen up –
even more so when
the doorwolf
handed each of them a cup. 

Drac himself flew down
and greeted them
with bloodwine from his stash.
“I’m so happy
you could make it!
Welcome to the Monster Mash!”

tooth and claw

sweet kitty cat
nothing but love
for her humans
and even her dog
little gray bundle
of purrs and cuddles


you’re also a cat
and you cross her
then any offense
or minor faux-paw
earns a harsh reply
and swift retribution

oh my

suddenly my house
is a wild kingdom
where panthers roar
and leap to attack
fangs are bared
claws unsheathed
true beast revealed

😳 …kitty?

50 Ways

The problem is just what you suppose,
she said to me,
Gotta get that sucker to decompose
As well, you don’t want it exposed
and robbed…you see?
There must be
50 ways to rot your groundhog.
50 ways to rot your groundhog.

Just stick it in a can, Stan,
or toss it in a bucket, Chuck!
Nail it to a tree, Lee,
Good enough for me!

Put it in a bin, Lynn,
or covered in a pot, Scott.
Stick it in the creek, Deke.
Pretty soon, you’ll see.

Just dig it a grave, Dave.
Put it in with the ants, Grant!
Make way for worms, Herm!
Watch it slowly cease to be.

It really isn’t all that hard
to break it down.
Just find a space in your backyard
and go to town.
There is no need to end up scarred
or wear a frown.
There must be
50 ways to rot your groundhog.
50 ways to rot your groundhog.

in the room

a child again
i am ushered into the room
told to sit and hush
as darkness thickens

a flash of light
followed by three more
gold, green, blue, red
feathered creatures banter
and break into song

now dozens, hundreds
spin and flutter above me
weaving intricate patterns
of sound and color

a zeppelin of gleaming white
descends from nowhere
bearing clusters of melody
cloying feathery sweets

now tendrils of vine appear
capped by orchids and lilies
riotous in shades of rose
writhing and ululating
as drumbeats rise, ominous

a crescendo of storm and magma
suddenly the room is bursting
with song and feather
as every outlandish entity returns
here, swarming above me

until, finally, peace
the darkness lifts
and i am permitted to depart
carrying with me
the indelible memory
of the room