Monthly Archives: May 2020

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The Ballad of Sleeperman

Resplendent
in his blue pyjamas,
red slippers,
and plush blanket cape,
his chest emblazoned
with a mighty Zzz,
he is Sleeperman!

Nods off faster
than a sleep-deprived parent!
Snores more powerfully
than your uncle Herbert!
Is able to sleep all morning
in a single snooze!
He is Sleeperman!

Not much use
in fighting crime,
but still quite impressive
when during that bank robbery
in the middle of a shootout
he was found sound asleep.
He is Sleeperman!

Has a secret identity
as a mild-mannered coder
for a well-known newspaper,
except he wears glasses
in and out of costume
so everybody knows
he is Sleeperman!

Until the day
when he met his kryptonite,
and found that
he could no longer
sleep through the night.
His nemesis? Aging.
He…he was Sleeperman.

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Jackie the Red-Eared Slider

Jackie the red-eared slider
Had a very flattened shell
We think her former owners
Didn’t know to feed her well

All of her tank companions
Little snails and little fish
Hoped that she wouldn’t eat them
Deciding they’re a tasty dish

Then one day this turtle girl
Scored her great escape
Out and down and on the floor
Nearly made it out the door

Now Jackie’s bubbling filter
Is moved to where she cannot climb
Jackie the red-eared slider
Swimming with us all…the…time!

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Words of Wisdom from the Catguru

All you need for bliss is a sunbeam and some downtime.

There is no such thing as early breakfast.

Never give up the chase. You won’t know what joy that shiny thing has for you until you catch it.

We are capable of amazing feats…and lamentable clumsiness.

Never disturb someone’s sleep without good reason.

Entropy is an inescapable law of the universe. Embrace it.

All creatures crave affection. But don’t presume.

If you’ve got happy vibes, let everybody hear them.

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Aphorisms from the Dog Sage

Love everybody…and protect your pack.

If you really want to understand something, you’ve got to stick your nose right in the middle of it.

Every morning holds the promise of connection, exercise, and breakfast. Greet each one with joy.

Never turn up your nose at nourishment, no matter where it came from.

Sleep is your friend. And a fresh patch of dirt makes an excellent bed.

Always know who’s who in your neighborhood. Stay in touch. Don’t forget to remind them that you live here too.

Every reunion is an occasion for excitement and delight, even if the parting was brief.

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escape hatch

i saw her, yards away, across the bridge
bent over, marking on the path with chalk
i squinted and crept forward just a smidge
to see what she was drawing on the walk

she drew the chalky outline of a door
and when she finished, much to my surprise
she opened it and jumped inside before
i knew it – i could not believe my eyes!

i ran to where she’d been, fell to my knees
and touched the outlines drawn upon the track
the door was only chalk, a mundane tease
i wonder if she’s ever coming back?

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Mummy Caper

Jane was dangling
like Tom Cruise
above Queen N.’s sarcophagus.
Theo tapped her keys
and killed alarms
so sentries wouldn’t fuss.

Then, with practiced skill
Jane pried the lid
and opened it with care.
She alerted Theo
and the two
got Queen N. out of there.

They retreated
through the ductwork
to the back of the museum,
then donned uniforms in case
some sharp-eyed watch-person
should see ‘em.

Soon they’d made it
to their getaway
and tossed Queen N. inside,
so Jane grabbed the wheel
of that red Jag
and took her for a ride.

When they reached
their destination
N. began to loosen up –
even more so when
the doorwolf
handed each of them a cup. 

Drac himself flew down
and greeted them
with bloodwine from his stash.
“I’m so happy
you could make it!
Welcome to the Monster Mash!”