this is not the first time
i’ve remembered believing
completely different things
yesterday than I do today
that time, like this time
was because of a disease
but that was my own malady
while this one belongs to us all
as i grabbed the supermarket’s
last two sad tomatoes
on my first day of staying home
i recalled ten years ago
looking out at the world
from inside my own head
and seeing it completely different
from half a day ago
my hypomanic brain was causing
me to believe things
with all my heart – things
about my life, things about my
marriage. but then thirteen hours
later i would realize
my brain chemistry
had shifted and i was me again
it was bizarre and terrifying
and then last week, in two
days, i went from planning
trips for work and fun
to believing with all my heart
that traveling would be insane
i went from looking forward
to all kinds of gatherings
to knowing with my entire being
that indefinite self-isolation
was the only thing that i
could look forward to, for now
twice in my life I’ve felt my deepest
convictions shift suddenly
once because i had gone crazy
and once because the world had