reality

this is not the first time
i’ve remembered believing

completely different things
yesterday than I do today

that time, like this time
was because of a disease

but that was my own malady
while this one belongs to us all

as i grabbed the supermarket’s
last two sad tomatoes

on my first day of staying home
i recalled ten years ago

looking out at the world
from inside my own head

and seeing it completely different
from half a day ago

my hypomanic brain was causing
me to believe things

with all my heart – things
about my life, things about my

marriage. but then thirteen hours
later i would realize

my brain chemistry
had shifted and i was me again

it was bizarre and terrifying
and then last week, in two

days, i went from planning
trips for work and fun

to believing with all my heart
that traveling would be insane

i went from looking forward
to all kinds of gatherings

to knowing with my entire being
that indefinite self-isolation

was the only thing that i
could look forward to, for now

twice in my life I’ve felt my deepest
convictions shift suddenly

once because i had gone crazy
and once because the world had

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