The problem is just what you suppose,
she said to me,
Gotta get that sucker to decompose
efficiently.
As well, you don’t want it exposed
and robbed…you see?
There must be
50 ways to rot your groundhog.
50 ways to rot your groundhog.

Just stick it in a can, Stan,
or toss it in a bucket, Chuck!
Nail it to a tree, Lee,
Good enough for me!

Put it in a bin, Lynn,
or covered in a pot, Scott.
Stick it in the creek, Deke.
Pretty soon, you’ll see.

Just dig it a grave, Dave.
Put it in with the ants, Grant!
Make way for worms, Herm!
Watch it slowly cease to be.

It really isn’t all that hard
to break it down.
Just find a space in your backyard
and go to town.
There is no need to end up scarred
or wear a frown.
There must be
50 ways to rot your groundhog.
50 ways to rot your groundhog.